Oh my. I haven't written in my blog since October? Even I hadn't realized so much time has gone by! So what do start with? My regrets for not writing "in the moment"? A rambling explanation of how a plethora of emotions have made my already convoluted thinking even more so? Nah! Those who know me are already aware of those things, so I'll just jump right in:
We did it. We moved Mom into an assisted living facility. There...it's out...in print...in dark black letters (no soft hued pastels to lesson the impact).
You know, I was raised in a 4 generation household growing up. I treasured the times and memories with my grandparents and my great grandma ("Nagymama" - she came from the "Old Country", only spoke Hungarian, and had the longest braided hair I'd ever seen that she always worn up in a bun on the back of her head). It was a given in my heart and mind that this tradition would continue, and Mom would live out whatever years God would give her here under our roof and care.
And now I'm not even sure what to say at this point. Do I write about the changes and increased needs in Mom over the past several months? Do I explain all of the factors that went into our decision hoping everyone would understand (and agree, of course!). No, I don't think so. Suffice it to say that it was obviously a very difficult, heart-wrenching decision to make. I do regret not posting this update sooner, as we moved Mom into her new home in December. And I wish that I had taken the time to write more "in the moment" because it's so cathartic. But being me, I waited. First, because it was a busy time of year. (Elizabeth was home for a few weeks before leaving for South African for a year (!) and the holidays were upon us.) But more importantly, there have been so many components to this that it has felt overwhelming to attempt to write something that would address everything while still making some sense.
So for now, I will simply write short little posts. No more pressure for me!
As in all things, there are so many lessons to learn along the way. I promise to start sharing them - soon - as I continue to process them.